Let’s Talk Mental Chatter

My brain has been unkind to me lately. I have never been one to berate myself or tell myself I am stupid or inept. I don’t speak to myself in that way, but I realized there has been a silent script running in the background of late, telling me I’m doing it all wrong. I have created such an inventory of to-dos that are supposed to make me the best version of me, but they are just making me feel like a failure. 

Didn’t drink a gallon of water today…you’re doing it wrong.

Only ate 137 grams of protein and not 150…you’re doing it wrong.

Wrote morning pages before going for a walk…you’re doing it wrong. 

Went for a walk before writing morning pages…you’re doing it wrong. 

Didn’t get sunlight in your eyes within half an hour of waking to set your circadian rhythm…you’re doing it wrong.

Didn’t drink apple cider vinegar before your meal..you’re doing it wrong.

Didn’t get enough sleep…you’re doing it wrong. 

Checked your phone first thing to see your sleep metrics…you’re doing it wrong.

Didn’t meditate for three days…you’re doing it wrong.

Took a spin class because it makes you happy…too high intensity, you’re doing it wrong.

Didn’t get cards out in time to your sister or nephew…you’re doing it wrong.

There is no engagement on your blog or social media…you’re doing it wrong.

You were on your computer past 8 pm…you’re doing it wrong.

Your HRV is still in the 20s…you’re doing it wrong. 

Your fasting blood sugar was up, so you went for a walk before eating…you’re doing it wrong.

You stayed up past 11 pm watching a funny series…you’re doing it wrong.

YOU’RE…DOING…IT…ALL…WRONG.

What the actual F%*&.

Why am I so hard on myself? Where is the grace? Where’s the flexibility that life with other humans sometimes requires? Where’s the compassion for the woman who is doing the best she can? I can’t be the only one who feels this way? While I do believe it’s good to have goals and things to strive towards, I have to remind myself that the goal is just the endzone. The game is on the field. I get to play the game every day. Some days will be moving forward. First and ten. Some days will get sacked and lose some yardage. Clearly, those days the coach has been yelling at me. But I have to shake those off and get back on the field. Pick a new game plan and execute. Right now, I need to throw the old playbook out and start from scratch, rebuilding with strategies that are simple and effective. Games and life are supposed to be fun. I’m going to embrace my Rebuilding Era and try to have a little more fun. What are your tricks for quieting mental chatter when it turns unkind?